One of my favourite things in the world is energetically~somatically contacting and feeling many generations old sociopathic and narcissistic traits… rigidly, painfully (un)present in the vast majority of us, yet if we stay with the trouble, inevitably softening, dilating, and finally giving up its ghosts…
Its ‘dark’ self loathing secrets and spells, its so called ‘false-pre-tense’ of organismically denied vulnerabilities and taboo emotions, literally unwinding, as our body~mind elegantly senses and discerns the unsustainable and manufactured symbols, ideologies and abstractions upon which our resentful and emancipatory identity and rage is based.
A self alchemising shift, an embodied choice, a temporal surrender of grasp ridden past~future imagineering.
From performative pre-tending, self as image, to simply… effortlessly… tending…
Self as contact, what we literally are, unadulterated animation of the ecological intelligence, and in turn the universe, flowing, knowing, vibratory wonder, curiosity, intensity and pleasure opening and flowering between thyself and world.
Our family (nervous relational field) systems were hijacked by predatory religious, cultural and economic systems we for the most part do not understand.
If we did actually collectively understand them, they wouldn’t exist in the way they currently and painfully do.
So I always endeavour to whisper and coax a sensuous intervention with these desensitised systems of symbolic efficiency, these expensive and defensive human security systems.
Is this defense still viable?
Has the threat subsided, for the moment at least?
Tasting, smelling, feeling our own sensed lifeworld.
Thereby directly touching self discerned reality, sensed perspective and of course the risk, yet oh so deep rest, of safety, often for the first time in our systemically simulated and coerced lives.
I love empathically experiencing under my somewhat nerve dense hands, bioenergy, fascia, musculature, expensive structures of fear and oppression, reinforced houses of cards, literally melting… long delayed emotions gushing forth, and the intelligence of spirit reframing and freeing obsolete ‘parts’ of ourselves, from empire, religio-militarised shackles, most of which have often long lost their medieval utility or their ancient purpose.
Every single time, unwaveringly, I give everything I know and have, to coax a deep wave of complex interwebbed ‘grief’ (self awareness), from under the literal physical armour of our projected and very posturally constrictive worldview…
Bubbling, streaming, sometimes even exploding like a volcano, through the deceptively porous false pre-tense of our organism, to our surface, our skin, our conscious mind, from a secret and culturally avoided spring of ‘locked down’ living knowledge, gnosis, bursting forth into self reorganising intelligence, what some call ‘presence’.
What others call “evolution”, or perhaps even integrative adaptation.
